Showing posts with label Corruption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Corruption. Show all posts

Friday, 9 August 2013

o : Ouidah

Auberge Diaspora
Ouidah
Benin


Dear o,

It’s near midnight and the stars are out.  Al and I have had one of the best days of our whole trip.  The taxi – an actual vehicle, instead of the motorcycles which typically service Benin – pulls up in front of our empty hotel.  Al gets out the 2,000 francs, having resigned after we got in to the high price, and gives it to the driver.  He throws the money back at her, and says, “Dix mille”.  As it is the second time today we are told a different price at the end of the journey from the one at the beginning, Al is furious.  She leaves the money on the seat, and gets out.  The driver and I get out and I forestall him, as Alex crosses the road to our room (the hotel occupies both sides of the road).  He insists that that’s his price, and I tell him that CFA 10,000 is absurd for only seven kilometres – that we’ve crossed hundreds of kilometres over hours of atrocious driving for a third that rate, that we agreed to “deux mille” (an obvious and common misunderstanding).  As I’m trying to explain the possible misunderstanding, the driver pushes me.  I pivot around and get in his face, shouting hard and firm, “ne me touche pas!”.  He seems to get the message, and we’re somewhat calm again.

The driver makes a phone call to a “manager”, and screams and shouts.  He says the manager is on his way.  Al goes back and forth between the taxi and the hotel.  Three of the hotel guardians arrive, and I explain the situation.  They then hear it from the driver, in their own language, and in two seconds it is clear whose side they’re on.  The white tourist is trying to steal a rip-off price from the black taxi driver, of course.

“Fine,” I say, “we’ll wait for the manager.”

I pace back and forth on the dirt path leading from the gate into the hotel grounds, lit by the tall fluorescent light above.  The three staff walk to the other side of the road and talk with Al, who is still outraged, saying things like “ridiculous”, “absurd”, and “toujours, la meme chose.”

I hear quick, pounding footsteps behind me.  I turn and he’s there.  “Arretez,” I say.He pushes me again, and I push him back.  I put my hand out and say, “non”.  He slaps my hand.  I put my fists up.  He puts his up.

One of the staff has run back, but doesn’t get between us.  “Appelez la police,” I shout, without looking away from my opponent with the wild eyes.  But the hotel guardian doesn’t move.  “Appelez la police maintenant!”  The other two arrive, and do nothing.

My knees are bent, my feet are bouncing, my nails are digging into my palms.  The taxi driver throws a left punch.

***

It was a refreshing morning: finally, no work to be done.  No planning for the day, no arranging tomorrow’s early-morning bus.  No struggling to figure out what to do.  We had breakfast by the sea, a leisurely walk down the road, and a fascinating, though short, conversation with a Ogoni man on a bicycle.  He spoke of his people’s exile from Nigeria to neighbouring Benin, how there were only 52 left in the community, how they would be arrested, possibly killed, if they attempted to return, and of their website and committee work.  He rode on as we got motorcycle taxis into town, to the tourism office to find an English-speaking tour.

Against all odds, we found one, and it was just leaving: seven Nigerians packed into their two cars, ready to go, while we tested the guide’s English and confirmed that yes, indeed, he would be our guide (we’ve had a problem with this before).  Sure enough, we were on the first English-speaking tour of our entire trip, about to learn the ins and outs of Benin’s major slave trading port, and Africa’s voodoo capital: Ouidah.

First it was snakes, rendered harmless by their keepers and worshippers in the Temple of the Pythons.  We held them, played with them, and the Nigerians took dozens of photos of the girls running scared at the touch – and some of the boys, too.  A different guide accompanied us, and on his face were the six marks carved in with a knife when he was a few months old: two on the forehead, and two on each cheekbone, all up-down.

We moved on to the museum, which is inside a former Portuguese fort.  I have read about African slavery in many books.  I have helped to develop a play set on an 18th-century slave ship, where the captives perform in coffins of chalk.  I have visited other slave trading posts, met descendants of former slaves, and bemoaned the slavery which continues in our world today.  I have felt I understood it, appreciated it, defeated what remnants of it there are in my mind.

And then I stood in a room in a white-walled museum and looked upon an image of a slave ship with its rows of bodies, less living things, more like ticks of a pencil – accountings – while the Nigerians asked questions.  Would they jump into the ocean if they could?  Why would the owners treat them like that, if they were wanted for work?  One man, the most precocious one, corrected a sign in the museum that said the slave trade did not exist before the Europeans.  Yes it did, he said.  We kept each other as slaves before the Europeans came.  The Europeans just made it big-time.  There were no tears, no fury, no outward emotion; just the intense desire to learn and somehow, by learning, make right.

I couldn’t help it.  I was different in that room.  I am a white man.  No amount of reading will change my blood.  No amount of understanding will alter my heritage.  No amount of doing will erase what was done.  Nobody looked at me as such, but I did look at myself.  Where is it?  Where is the part of me that shackled men and women, beat them, ground them down, forced them to make me rich?  Where is the part of me that couldn’t stop the greed when it shipped millions from their home to grow me sugar, corn, cotton?  Where is the part of me that dug mass pits in which to throw the weak and diseased people, still alive, doomed to a last exhale on their own soil for not being strong enough for the voyage?  Where is that part of me, so I can fight it, wrestle it, kill it, and burn it?  Where is it?  I wanted to know so I could show the room in triumph, and learn of slavery as equals, as brothers and sisters.  But I couldn’t find it.

Following the museum we visited the Sacred Forest, admired the fantastical, whimsical and tellingly disjointed artwork made around the sacred giant tree, and tried the divine the stories behind the figures as well as the place, whenever the guide’s version was too plain.  The sculptures were either colourful or rustic, harsh or smooth, metallic or porcelain, and never in between.  The Sacred Forest is a place of impact, vitality and message, with contemplation ushered to the shadows.

We went for lunch and bonded with the Nigerians, whom we learned were out exclusively in Ouidah for the long weekend.  They told stories of how they got through the Benin border (a long, difficult and expensive ordeal, which we sympathised with), of politics, and of home.  One said that everyone in Lagos relates to Lagos life: you spend all day being busy, convinced of your busyness, consumed by your busyness – and yet at the end of the day, you’ve done nothing.  You drove from home to work, from work to home, recovering in between.  We talked about city living, city problems, and the bigger world.

After lunch we went along the Slave Walk.  We started in Ouidah’s centre (the old slave market, where slaves were purchased in exchange for goods), and stopped at the Tree of Forgetfulness, around which newly-chained slaves were forced to circle three times, in order to forget who they were, where they were from, everything.  Then the Tree of Return, again with a three-time circle, so that captives could return to Africa once dead overseas (though, still as slaves); and the common graves, where the unfit and the too-rebellious were tossed; and to the monuments at both of these sites.

Outside the garden of the Tree of Return, two of the Nigerians, Feyala and Begue, gave money to three kids who were begging.  The kid who received the coins walked away, and gave a pittance to his friends.  One of them cried, and they came to blows.  I watched it all unfold, leaning against the car.  They fought and screamed and cried, and I watched.  They saw me watching, stopped, came up to me, and asked for more.  I shook my head, absolutely not.  Then they just walked away and continued to fight.  On the other side of the car, the others were arguing about funding such sites like these in Nigeria, and one argued the money would be better spent on things people actually need, and he cited the kids who needed the money more than the art surrounding the slavery monument.  I didn’t say anything.

Finally, we arrived at the Point of No Return itself, a hundred meters or so from shore, with a grand new archway leading in and out, decorated, painted, beautiful.

Under the arch our guide tried to double our price for the tour, from 15,000 to 30,000.  Here we go again, I thought.  We prepared for another battle.  But the Nigerians got wind of it, and descended on the ring.  They had paid 25,000 francs for seven, while we were orignally stuck with 15,000 for two – let alone now, with 30,000.  Soon there was a bigger shouting match, and Al and I were silent.  In the end, we paid 6,000 more, and tagged along with our new friends / guardian angels to their hotel.

We played Marco Polo in the pool, ate a delicious dinner, and then spent a few hours over board games on the patio in front of their rooms.  We shared our war stories from the frontline of trans-African travel, and heard about their close, yet hilarious, calls with the Benin police.  All that, of course, under the booming weekend joy of some of the loudest, most gregarious, open-hearted people I’ve met in a long time.  Needless to say, Al and I had a blast.

Akimbo, whose birthday it was, called us a taxi.  Not long before midnight it arrived.  We said goodbye, collected a few contact cards, and walked out with an escort.  We asked the taxi driver how much.  We heard “deux mille”, agreed, and drove off.

***

I dodge the taxi driver’s punch.  It’s easy; he’s slow, maybe drunk, and too furious to calculate.  I’m going to hit back.  Everything in me wants to drive him into the ground.  I wait for the next one, for him to open himself.

He charges forward, and stops.  There is a gap, and one of the hotel guardians steps in between us.  I don’t put down my guard.  “Appelez la police,” I say again.  One of the others shakes his head, in part begging me not to, in part telling me, that won’t happen.

Al is across the road.  “Call the police,” I yell.  “How?” she asks.  “Find a way.”

There is no way.  No cars on the road, no telephone, no other guests.  “Should I go down the road and find someone?”  I look at the taxi driver.  He’s angry, but surrounded.  I realise my fists are back down.  “No,” I say, “just wait.”

A few minutes later the manager of the Casa del Papa arrives.  He explains that 10,000 is the price he agreed to pay when he called for the taxi.  Nobody told us that, I say.  He apologises.  And it’s still far too expensive.  He apologises.  I tell the manager to get the taxi driver to get our 2,000 out of the car.  The driver does, and passes the money to the manager, who passes it to me.  I give the manager 10,000, who passes it to the driver, who is unsatisfied.

“Je ne suis pas une voleur,” I declare.  I am not a thief.

I walk away.  I try to think of how everything that just happened relates to everything that happened before.  I can’t quite figure it out.  It’s a simple story, really, and I hope I tell it for some other reason than to give you some suspense.  There is a misunderstanding over the price, and it comes to little blows on the way to bigger ones.  In the end, everything is sorted, everyone goes home (or to their room), and the police are never called.

Whatever, right?  Who cares.

Forgive me.  I do.  I’m still searching for that part of myself, that chained my brothers and sisters, reduced their humanity, and eradicated their history.  The Africans, too, feel the same guilt and share the same past.  They did indeed capture and keep and trade each other as slaves before the Portuguese and the British and the French commandeered the enterprise and globalised the market.  So here I am, and all I can think about are those kids, who fought with fists and tears over coins outside the walls of a monument to slavery.  And I think –whoever I am to think it –it’s not over.  It’s still in me.  It’s still in all of us.  We’ve got a lot of work to do.

Yours,

QM


The Python Temple
The one-footed warrior
in the Sacred Voodoo Forest
Spirit statue,
Sacred Voodoo Forest
Slavery Monument
near the Tree of Forgetfulness
Slavery Monument,
on the site of the mass common slave graves
The Point of No Return,
on the beach

Thursday, 4 July 2013

Viven : How we crossed from Liberia to the Ivory Coast


Dear Viven,

This crossing required a good deal of time, effort, patience and even some courage to get through without paying a bribe or illegitimate 'fee'.  It wasn't our hardest, but in retrospect it may have been the most dangerous.

The information in this letter is accurate at the time we crossed the border on 23 June 2013.  We are one British and one Canadian, driving a 1996 right-hand drive Toyota Hilux Surf from Paris to Tanzania.

Our previous crossing was from Sierra Leone to Liberia, and our next crossing is unknown.

Visas

Visas were required in advance.  We visited the Ivorian Embassy on Rue Commerce in Conakry Centre-Ville on Friday 14 June, arriving at 2:15pm.  After waiting for 15 minutes we were summoned into a glowing, happy man’s office.  He insisted on telling and writing for us his name: Santini Saidei, consular assistant.  Santini asked a few questions, switching between French and English, and had us fill out forms at his desk.  He asked for passport photos, Yellow Fever vaccination certificates, passports and money, and said the visas would be ready by Tuesday at 2pm.  After the ten minute interview we waited in the comfortable holding room with couches while he prepared a letter stating that the embassy was in possession of our passports (a necessity for us, as we were traveling quite far from Conakry for the weekend, and faced many greedy, corrupt gendarmes).  The happy man forgot about the letter, so we ended up waiting until 4pm. 

We returned on Tuesday 18 June at 2pm, and received our passports with Ivory Coast visas by 2:30pm.     Santini remembered to retrieve the embassy letter regarding our passports; this was called a laissez-passage, much like the single-country version of the carnet de passages.

Insurance and Carnet
Both Brown Card insurance and one page of our carnet de passages was required to enter the Ivory Coast.  As with Sierra Leone, Liberian officials were typically dumbfounded by our carnet, as apparently very few people do what we are doing here; but this was more of a speedbump than a problem.

Language
French is widely spoken in the Ivory Coast, or more properly Côte d'Ivoire, which is perhaps the most francophile nation in West Africa.  There are about 70 other languages in the country, and English is often understood in the well-established tourist sector.

Money
In the Ivory Coast we returned to the West African franc (CFA), which we last used in Guinea-Bissau. From Guinea-Bissau we carried a large enough chunk to get from the border to Abidjan, where we knew there was ATMs for both Visa and Mastercard, and also exchanged our remaining Liberian dollars (LRD) for CFA at the border, at a rate of LRD 155 = CFA 1,000.  ATMs (Visa and Mastercard) turned out to be widespread outside of Abidjan, with at least two in Man, and more in other cities and towns along the way.

The Route
We drove on some dismal Liberian roads (it would have been better if they weren't paved at all, given the deterioration) from the Liberian capital of Monrovia northeast through Totota to the border crossing at Loguatua, leading to the Ivorian city of Danane.  The roads, though bad, remained passable until the border, but then immediately upon entering the Ivory Coast became difficult dirt (mud) tracks.  Though it is only about 20km from the border to Danane, where the road becomes paved, the route is probably difficult at any time of year, and perhaps impassable during heavy rain.  For the condition and season that we crossed, I would advise against anything but 4x4s or motorcycles.

Only a few kilometers outside of Sanniquellie, a few hours drive before the border, we got our second flat tire of the trip.  Luckily, we were close enough to the town for me to hitch a ride, find a jack, replace both our front tires with the two extras we had strapped to the roof, and get on our way in a few hours.

The Border
We arrived at Loguatua on the Liberian side at 4:30pm, and had to dance around the customs building (to the right of the road) while one officer looked at our carnet de passages and another at our vehicle registration.  Both were holding out for money or bribes, but we outwaited them both and got on our way.  The immigration building (to the left of the road) housed some happy police who chatted with us for a bit, and then said they needed to refer our passports to someone else.  They asked what we thought of Liberia, and we said we were loved how friendly people were, and were pleasantly surprised with how little corruption we came up against, that not a single official had asked us for money or gifts.  As soon as we finished saying this, the two men smiled, agreed that Liberia was great for corruption, and then in all seriousness, asked us for "a gift to remember you by."  It was a very sad moment, and when we did not give anything, they actually looked confused.

The Deputy Commander to whom our passports were referred was a real grump who didn't say a word, but merely looked thoroughly at our pages, gave us stamps, and sent us away.

We crossed the river to the Ivory Coast side, parked at the first checkpoint, got assailed by the half-dozen officials there for gifts and money (back in French West Africa...), and visited on foot the police office for passports and the Douane office for the carnet.  At the police office, one soldier was playing on a MacBook Pro, so we were quick to mention this in order to make him feel stupid if and when he asked for money (he didn't).  We were processed quickly and efficiently, and then let go by 5:30pm.

The whole process from arrival to departure took one hour.

After about ten minutes of driving from the border we arrived at a military checkpoint.  We played the "I-don't-have-time-for-this-game" and hoped to be waved through, but we were summoned from the truck.  The commander eyed us up, while his sunglassed lieutenant tried to intimidate me with a bone-crushing handshake, that I simply returned in kind.  A couple on a motorcycle were passing through, and paid CFA 1,000 each.  When our passport details were entered into their logbook and our documents thoroughly inspected, the short-and-shirt-wearing commander told us to pay.  I asked why.  He asked who I was to ask him why.  I said we only had Liberian dollars.  He snapped his fingers at a scared woman at the military camp who gave us an incorrect rate of change (in our favour) and I got out the LRD 115.  I asked for a receipt.  Everyone laughed.  The commander asked who I was to ask for a receipt.  I ignored this and got a pad of paper, and wrote out the receipt.  I asked for the commander's name.  The commander asked who I was to ask for his name.  I said I could have anyone's name.  Everyone laughed.  The hard-faced lieutenant pointed at his lapels and asked what that meant.  I said military.  He said yes.  I said, does that mean you don't have a name?  Everyone laughed, now nervously.  Someone in the back of the now-gathered crowd said it wasn't 'normal' to ask for a receipt from the military.  The commander was getting pissed off, but we continued to be difficult yet kind and patient (in other words, acting dumb).  He got into my face, and I realised that not only was he about to stop thinking rationally (and thus, of the consequences for, say, arresting/hurting/killing us) but that he was being humiliated, and might need to show his troops who is the big man.  Just as I considered just paying up and getting the hell out of there, he shouted in my face that he didn't want my money.  I said good, closed the notepad with the 'receipt', and got in the truck.  But now he wouldn't lift the barrier.  I said I could just go around it.  He was furious, and ordered his man to raise the gate.  We drove out and didn't look back.  I was nervous about being suddenly chased all the way to Danane.

This encounter took about 20 minutes, and a lot more was said, all in French.  But that's the gist of it.  Maybe I was being too cocky and stupid?  Yes, but at the same time, we have come this far without paying a single bribe, paying a single 'fee' without a receipt, or giving a single 'gift'.  I won't pay the first time without a fight and a damn good reason (such as, I suppose, keeping our lives).

What We Needed

In Conakry
  • €220 (€110 each), paid with CFA 145,000
  • Yellow Fever certificates
  • Passports
  • One passport photo each
  • About 30 minutes
At the border
  • Money: 0 (CFA 2,000 demanded at a military checkpoint)
  • Passports with Ivory Coast visas
  • Carnet de passages
  • Vehicle registration document
  • Brown Card insurance document
  • Drivers' Licence

Yes, I promise to be more careful.  But don't just say to me "it's the African way" - Africans, like the couple on the motorcycle who wouldn't think of not paying the commander / god-in-shorts, deserve better than that.

Happy trails,

QM

Fixing the flat tire
Sound a little American? 
0 km.  I got in trouble for taking this photo 'without permission'.

Thursday, 20 June 2013

Scam Art Sam : The Man of Authority Scam


Dear Scam Art Sam,

This one has significant variation, but it can be a highly profitable (with quick and sometimes outrageous rewards) for an often minimal effort (in some cases, you can just show up and hold out your hand).  If you get your set up right, you can make a happy career.  On the flip side, the risks are considerable (if the Scam gets on the wrong side of your government’s anti-corruption campaign, and you don’t change jobs or angles in time, it could mean really big trouble) and the preparation is extensive, especially if you are a real Man of Authority, and not just an actor.  In the case of the latter, you’ll need to hone your performance skills, follow your strategy right, and get out when the shit hits the fan.  In the case of the former, you’ll need money, family connections, the proper qualifications and characteristics, and possibly years of training, and all this just to get you through the door of being a cop, gendarme or border guard; it could take an equally monumental effort to secure the good grounds to set up the Scam.

The good news is, if you are a real Man of Authority with a few years behind you, and you’re in the right country, all kinds of bad money will come your way.  This is where the scammers give you a cut of their earnings, and it means you won’t have to do the dirty work yourself.  In other words, you will be safer from discovery, be surrounded by scapegoats, and can feel a little better about yourself.  But let’s consider this tithe-receiving position as the ultimate reward for the Scam at hand, which we will now discuss.

You Will Need
The personality, confidence and base interpersonal skills of a cop.  You may want to work this Scam as a pair, or even with more – but keep your circle of Scammers tight, and with their eyes on the ball.  I recommend you have a uniform, identity card or badge, belt with a lot of unseen gadgets and, if possible, a gun (the bigger the better).  It is definitely easier if you actually are a police officer, gendarme, customs official, border guard or other authority figure, but not essential: acting can take you a long way, and if you set the Scam up right, your Mark will have no way of verifying you are who you say you are.  And if you’re good, they won’t even think to question it.

Your Grounds
Are in a country where you can get away with this, probably in Africa, parts of Asia and eastern Europe, and Central & South America, typically with a high rate of tourism and/or travelers passing through.  They should be a good distance from central authorities (like capital cities) and anyone in power who might take issue with you scamming tourists and travelers for money.  The best grounds are found at borders, ferry crossings and other barriers that bottleneck travelers; if you are a real Man of Authority, you may get the chance to man road checkpoints, which can be just as good.  Less recommended, but still lucrative, are other spots where you can plant yourself: perhaps as a traffic officer pulling over motorists for made-up reasons, or even just as a beat cop walking around asking for people’s papers.  The most important element about your grounds is that they help you, and your Scam, appear more convincing.

You
Are, or appear to be, a Man of Authority.  Beyond that, the Scam is your art: you could be young or old, charming or mean, elusive or up-front, smooth-talking or cryptic.  You might speak the same language as your Mark or be bewildered by his speech.  So long as these traits and qualities are consistent and fit into your strategy (good cop vs. bad cop, bribe vs. payment, etc.), they can all work.

Your Mark
Can be almost anyone if you are actually a cop and can play this at a high level.  But for those at a beginner or intermediate scamming degree, this is anyone not from your part of the world, and who obviously hasn’t spent much time there.  Tourists will be your bread and butter, and you can also get a good pull from ill-aware and unexperienced travelers.  You may decide to prey upon your own population, but the returns are small and eventually they will turn against you.  This Scam can be very effective if you have your community on your side, blaming your Mark for all their troubles.

Your Target Emotion
Fear.  But not just fear of you personally – in fact, it might be effective for the Mark to like you and trust you – this is fear that their whole trip will fall apart, that they’ll have to experience the inside of a foreign jail, or best of all, fear of assault and death. 

The biggest trick with instilling this fear is that, logically, you should feel it more.  Typically, the stakes will be higher for you than for the Mark: if they get wise, refuse and report you, you could end up in deep shit.  Then again, if you’re smart in the set-up, you’ll lodge this Scam in a country and organisation that is just as corrupt as you are – and the Scam will be everything but official policy.

You can also try annoyance, impatience, or resignation to the bullshit.

The Scam Itself
Is not just about getting bribed.  In fact, the more you can make your Mark feel like he is making a legitimate payment, the better.  The whole point is, you are catching the Mark at a moment when he is afraid of you and what you might do (delay him, charge him even more, send him to the station, keep his licence or passport, arrest him, hurt him, shoot him, etc.) and usually when he is unable to continue – say, at a crossing where you make, or appear to make, the decision.  If the Mark is convinced the payment is legitimate, he will almost certainly be willing to pay more.

The Methods
  1. The Traffic / Vehicle Infraction. You are a Man of Authority. The Mark has committed a traffic (u-turn, gone a foot past the stop sign, etc.) or vehicle offense (incorrect storage, no fire extinguisher, etc.). It is irrelevant whether the offense is real or invented. The Mark must pay you x amount of money. Make sure you get the Mark’s licence or passport immediately, and hold onto it. If the Mark insists on an official ticket, hold out for a bribe for less than the amount they will pay at the station.
  2. The Missing Document. You are or pretend to be a Man of Authority. The Mark is driving or on foot, and does not have a particular document on hand. It is irrelevant whether or not what you say is the law.
  3. The Crossing. You are or pretend to be a Man of Authority. The Mark cannot pass without paying you x amount of money.
  4. The Delayed Crossing. You are or pretend to be a Man of Authority at a crossing, where there is a delay. You offer the Mark to get him ahead of the queue, for x amount of money, mentioned then or later. You may or may not actually help the Mark get ahead, but if you choose the latter, make sure you get the money before your false effort is exposed.
  5. The Advanced Delayed Crossing. Same as the above, but with exquisite sophistication and a whole team of which you will be in charge. 1) The Buddy, who makes friends with the Mark and always has him in sight. 2) The Rebel, to whom the Buddy openly reports, who loathes corruption and wants to shepherd the Mark through without bribing anyone. 3) The thieves who try to steal from the Mark, but are stopped by the Rebel and the Buddy at the last minute. 4) The Uncle of the Rebel, who has some authority, and who will help the Mark get ahead of the queue but at the last minute asks for money, or a gift. 5) The security officer who sends the Mark to the back of the line when the Uncle disappears, accepts some money for the Mark to stay, and begins a scruffle with the Rebel and the Buddy. 6) You, who come in to fix the whole situation in the middle of the chaos and will let the Mark go just as the ferry is about to leave – for a fee. A huge fee. By now the Mark should pay.
  6. Just Demand Money. When in doubt or desperation or in sight of those one-in-a-hundred Marks who will pay whatever you tell them, just crisp up your uniform, puff out your chest, and demand x amount of money. Many, a glorious many, will simply shut up and hand it over.
Cautions
For obvious reasons, this Scam carries big risks, both if you are actually a Man of Authority, or just pretending to be. In both cases, it is usually not so much a case of getting caught, but who you are getting caught by. Be wary of those who might be setting you up, of targeting the wrong Mark, and, if you are acting the part, that your grounds don’t go stale or your contacts sour. Here are a few other pieces of advice:
  1. Pick the right Mark. Learn by experience to know by sight alone who should a Mark, and who should not.
  2. Know your Mark’s price. Even if you know the Mark will pay up, there may still be a limit to his tolerance and his bank account.
  3. If the Mark turns out to be too big a risk, let him go. Don’t risk it. If they start asking too many questions, insisting on receipts or names, let the Mark go. You may win today, but it could come back to bite.
  4. Never give your real name. 

The best part about this one is the infinite possibility of variation: complexity or simplicity, real cop or fake, a lot of small returns or a few big ones.  There are whole careers made off the Man of Authority Scam.  Why miss out?

Happy scamming,


QM

Monday, 17 June 2013

o : Ditinn Waterfall

On a rock facing the Ditinn Waterfall
Fouta Djallon Plateau
Guinea


Dear o,

There is no one else around.  No merchants trying to sell us their wares, no hustlers trying to be our guides, no gendarmes eyeing up our willingness to shed money.  Perhaps way up above this giant, jetting cascade of water, on the plateau that we can’t see through the mist, a child or a couple hold fort around a telescope in the hope we’ll strip down and skinny-dip in the dark, rippling pool.  Of course, that’s a ridiculous thought, but it took us a good ten minutes after we arrived here to be sure no one had followed us from the village at the entrance to the trail. 

We arrived a few hundred metres from the village trailhead not long before dark yesterday and set up camp.  On the way from Ditinn we picked up a man named Ahmed on the road, who was asking for a ride.  “Where are you going?” I asked, and he pointed up ahead, “not far.”  We chatted for a bit and he seemed in good spirits.  He asked what we did and we told him.  We asked what he did, and he said he was in tourism.  Fantastic, we thought, and we knew what might be up.

When we spotted a good, flat place to put up our tent about five minutes down the dirt tracks, Al got out and I offered to drive Ahmed on to his destination while she set up.  He said no, here was fine, and so we pulled in and all got out.  He stood there while we got our bags and gear out, and then tried lamely to help with the poles.  “No, thanks,” I said, “we’re alright,” and so he stopped, and just stood there.  Two more men arrived together on a bicycle.  They got off, we said hello and they reciprocated, speechless. And then they too just stood there, with Ahmed, whom they knew.

“What are you doing?” we asked.  “We are here to help,” said Ahmed, and the others agreed.  “We don’t need help, thanks, we’re alright, please go on to where you live.  Good night.”  “Good night,” they all responded.  And then didn’t move.

Al and I walked into the bush to discuss our plan, and decided to move the tent somewhere on the other side of the road and in the cover of the trees, which would give us a better reason to say, “go away” – as if we’d staked a claim on a spot in the grass.

We returned to the tent and truck.  It was getting dark.  Ahmed and his two friends hadn’t moved.  “What are you doing?” I asked again.  “We are your night guardians,” said Ahmed.  “No thanks,” Al and I said together.  I picked up the poled-out tent and carried it into the bush, while Al got into Archer and drove him around to meet me.  I found a spot, laid down the tent, and saw Al come around the corner through the trees, followed by the three.  I walked past Archer and waved Al on, and stood in front of the men.

“What’s the problem?” I asked.  “We are your guardians for the night,” said Ahmed.  “No, no guardians, please leave.”  “You cannot stay here without guardians,” Ahmed insisted, flanked by his men.  “Is it illegal?”  “Yes,” said Ahmed, and there was just enough light left in the sky to see in his eyes that he was lying.  “Okay, go get the police,” I said, and turned back.  They followed, and I stopped to block their way to Al, Archer and the tent.  “Go get the police,” I said again, louder.  I could see Al in the corner of my eye, still and watching by the truck.  “No,” he said.  “Then leave us alone.  Good night.”  “Give me money,” said Ahmed, not so much a threat as a beg, but it got me angry all the same.  “For what?”  Silence.  “For what?  I gave you a ride!”  I looked at his friends who, thankfully, were getting nervous and looked like they wanted to go.  “You asked for a ride, and we were kind enough to give you one, and now you ask for money?  That’s not right.”  “We are tourist officials,” Ahmed lied.  “I don’t care.  Leave.”  The two others grabbed Ahmed and convinced him to go with them on the bicycle.  I went back to Al and the tent, watched them wait a little longer, and then they were gone.  Night had fallen, and there would be no time to cook a proper dinner: another night, then, of cold mackerel and sweetcorn.

 I didn’t realise it, but when Al had returned to the truck, she took hold of the hammer and the window-breaker, and prepared for things to get out of hand.  I felt bad about getting angry and escalating the situation, but typically self-righteous for being so used.  We slept in the tent for the night, because the truck was too hot, but I held the hammer under my pillow throughout the night.

That is the sort of thing we wanted to get away from by coming out here to the Fouta Djallon plateau.  Not so much the threat as the hassle; and not so much the danger as the constant watching.  We drove for two days on the treacherous northern road (on which we saw dozens of freight trucks turned over on the sharp turns), the same road we would have taken from Guinea-Bissau if we had avoided the swampy border we crossed.  We drove onto lesser roads, where the only others were on motorcycle, to get to the village of Ditinn, and then this morning walked for a couple hours to come here.  All to get out of town, away from the omnipresent reek of diesel and the prying eyes – above all, to get out of Conakry.

Conakry is the Guinean capital where our Ivory Coast visas are being processed.  We originally considered waiting the couple days out in the city, but quickly discovered why that wasn’t such a good idea.  I have never visited a dirtier, fouler, less friendly, less hospitable place in my life.  Millions live in the peninsular city, similar in shape to the larger, cleaner and more welcoming Dakar, serviced by a single laneless mud road for the whole of the conurbation’s traffic.  There is garbage everywhere, and the oceanfront is so covered with plastic that it is not possible to see the sand or rocks beneath.  There is no electricity for most of the city, while the rest has it for only the daytime; this wasn’t such a big deal for us until we thought of the common people, navigating the concrete metropolitan wilds in the night with just a flashlight and the rumbling, sleepless sound of a generator or two.

Worst for our first impressions and state of mind was the fact that we were stopped dozens of times by police and gendarmes, more than anywhere else by far, all asking for money and telling us something was wrong: luggage improperly packed, no vignette, we didn’t stop on a dime when we they blew the whistle.  One police officer simply walked up to my window, slammed his hand on the truck, and blurted out, “Give me money.”  Of course we didn’t – but each stop took a good 15 minutes to bitch, threaten, not speak French, and act like the stupidest, most banal, and above all most patient people of all time.  If that’s what we have to deal with, imagine the local woman who must fetch water by going past these assholes on ‘patrol’.

If we had found a way to skip Conakry altogether, and maybe get the visas in Freetown or Monrovia, we would have.  But if that was our route, I’m not so sure we would have driven ourselves so hard to get up here, and if we would have waited out last night without packing up and driving off.  Even last night’s talentless huslters, who in our imaginations had more skill as midnight robbers, made me want to push on to something beautiful.  Conakry and its country try-hards made us want to see just a little waterfall, almost desperately, and here we are.

It is stunning, and not so little after all.  The water tumbles down hundreds of feet, and by the time it hits the pool it is half a shower, half a cloud.  The whole area is ringed by the plateau cliffs, which jut out and abruptly halt, shields against the tropical plain.  The trees are big, sprawling and glistening, and they look as if they reach down and dip into the pool with cupped branches and suckling twigs.  This is everything Conakry isn’t, an antidote I hope exists for all Guineans.  There are birds, butterflies, blue sky and big rocks for the view – everything but the people, who still haven’t come.  I think it might just be safe to go for another, less inhibited swim.

Yours,

QM


Garbage Beach
aka,
Corniche Sud, Conakry
View from the first floor,
Conakry
On the road to Ditinn

Our campsite
Distant view of the Ditinn Waterfall
A closer look,
Ditinn Waterfall
The village at the trailhead,
in front of the Ditinn Waterfall