Scam Art Sam : The Man of Authority Scam

Dear Scam Art Sam,

This one has significant variation, but it can be a highly profitable (with quick and sometimes outrageous rewards) for an often minimal effort (in some cases, you can just show up and hold out your hand).  If you get your set up right, you can make a happy career.  On the flip side, the risks are considerable (if the Scam gets on the wrong side of your government’s anti-corruption campaign, and you don’t change jobs or angles in time, it could mean really big trouble) and the preparation is extensive, especially if you are a real Man of Authority, and not just an actor.  In the case of the latter, you’ll need to hone your performance skills, follow your strategy right, and get out when the shit hits the fan.  In the case of the former, you’ll need money, family connections, the proper qualifications and characteristics, and possibly years of training, and all this just to get you through the door of being a cop, gendarme or border guard; it could take an equally monumental effort to secure the good grounds to set up the Scam.

The good news is, if you are a real Man of Authority with a few years behind you, and you’re in the right country, all kinds of bad money will come your way.  This is where the scammers give you a cut of their earnings, and it means you won’t have to do the dirty work yourself.  In other words, you will be safer from discovery, be surrounded by scapegoats, and can feel a little better about yourself.  But let’s consider this tithe-receiving position as the ultimate reward for the Scam at hand, which we will now discuss.

You Will Need

The personality, confidence and base interpersonal skills of a cop.  You may want to work this Scam as a pair, or even with more – but keep your circle of Scammers tight, and with their eyes on the ball.  I recommend you have a uniform, identity card or badge, belt with a lot of unseen gadgets and, if possible, a gun (the bigger the better).  It is definitely easier if you actually are a police officer, gendarme, customs official, border guard or other authority figure, but not essential: acting can take you a long way, and if you set the Scam up right, your Mark will have no way of verifying you are who you say you are.  And if you’re good, they won’t even think to question it.

Your Grounds

Are in a country where you can get away with this, probably in Africa, parts of Asia and eastern Europe, and Central & South America, typically with a high rate of tourism and/or travelers passing through.  They should be a good distance from central authorities (like capital cities) and anyone in power who might take issue with you scamming tourists and travelers for money.  The best grounds are found at borders, ferry crossings and other barriers that bottleneck travelers; if you are a real Man of Authority, you may get the chance to man road checkpoints, which can be just as good.  Less recommended, but still lucrative, are other spots where you can plant yourself: perhaps as a traffic officer pulling over motorists for made-up reasons, or even just as a beat cop walking around asking for people’s papers.  The most important element about your grounds is that they help you, and your Scam, appear more convincing.

You

Are, or appear to be, a Man of Authority.  Beyond that, the Scam is your art: you could be young or old, charming or mean, elusive or up-front, smooth-talking or cryptic.  You might speak the same language as your Mark or be bewildered by his speech.  So long as these traits and qualities are consistent and fit into your strategy (good cop vs. bad cop, bribe vs. payment, etc.), they can all work.

Your Mark

Can be almost anyone if you are actually a cop and can play this at a high level.  But for those at a beginner or intermediate scamming degree, this is anyone not from your part of the world, and who obviously hasn’t spent much time there.  Tourists will be your bread and butter, and you can also get a good pull from ill-aware and unexperienced travelers.  You may decide to prey upon your own population, but the returns are small and eventually they will turn against you.  This Scam can be very effective if you have your community on your side, blaming your Mark for all their troubles.

Your Target Emotion

Fear.  But not just fear of you personally – in fact, it might be effective for the Mark to like you and trust you – this is fear that their whole trip will fall apart, that they’ll have to experience the inside of a foreign jail, or best of all, fear of assault and death. 

The biggest trick with instilling this fear is that, logically, you should feel it more.  Typically, the stakes will be higher for you than for the Mark: if they get wise, refuse and report you, you could end up in deep shit.  Then again, if you’re smart in the set-up, you’ll lodge this Scam in a country and organisation that is just as corrupt as you are – and the Scam will be everything but official policy.

You can also try annoyance, impatience, or resignation to the bullshit.

The Scam Itself

Is not just about getting bribed.  In fact, the more you can make your Mark feel like he is making a legitimate payment, the better.  The whole point is, you are catching the Mark at a moment when he is afraid of you and what you might do (delay him, charge him even more, send him to the station, keep his licence or passport, arrest him, hurt him, shoot him, etc.) and usually when he is unable to continue – say, at a crossing where you make, or appear to make, the decision.  If the Mark is convinced the payment is legitimate, he will almost certainly be willing to pay more.

The Methods

1. The Traffic / Vehicle Infraction. You are a Man of Authority. The Mark has committed a traffic (u-turn, gone a foot past the stop sign, etc.) or vehicle offense (incorrect storage, no fire extinguisher, etc.). It is irrelevant whether the offense is real or invented. The Mark must pay you x amount of money. Make sure you get the Mark’s licence or passport immediately, and hold onto it. If the Mark insists on an official ticket, hold out for a bribe for less than the amount they will pay at the station.
2. The Missing Document. You are or pretend to be a Man of Authority. The Mark is driving or on foot, and does not have a particular document on hand. It is irrelevant whether or not what you say is the law.
3. The Crossing. You are or pretend to be a Man of Authority. The Mark cannot pass without paying you x amount of money.
4. The Delayed Crossing. You are or pretend to be a Man of Authority at a crossing, where there is a delay. You offer the Mark to get him ahead of the queue, for x amount of money, mentioned then or later. You may or may not actually help the Mark get ahead, but if you choose the latter, make sure you get the money before your false effort is exposed.
5. The Advanced Delayed Crossing. Same as the above, but with exquisite sophistication and a whole team of which you will be in charge. 1) The Buddy, who makes friends with the Mark and always has him in sight. 2) The Rebel, to whom the Buddy openly reports, who loathes corruption and wants to shepherd the Mark through without bribing anyone. 3) The thieves who try to steal from the Mark, but are stopped by the Rebel and the Buddy at the last minute. 4) The Uncle of the Rebel, who has some authority, and who will help the Mark get ahead of the queue but at the last minute asks for money, or a gift. 5) The security officer who sends the Mark to the back of the line when the Uncle disappears, accepts some money for the Mark to stay, and begins a scruffle with the Rebel and the Buddy. 6) You, who come in to fix the whole situation in the middle of the chaos and will let the Mark go just as the ferry is about to leave – for a fee. A huge fee. By now the Mark should pay.
6. Just Demand Money. When in doubt or desperation or in sight of those one-in-a-hundred Marks who will pay whatever you tell them, just crisp up your uniform, puff out your chest, and demand x amount of money. Many, a glorious many, will simply shut up and hand it over.

Cautions

For obvious reasons, this Scam carries big risks, both if you are actually a Man of Authority, or just pretending to be. In both cases, it is usually not so much a case of getting caught, but who you are getting caught by. Be wary of those who might be setting you up, of targeting the wrong Mark, and, if you are acting the part, that your grounds don’t go stale or your contacts sour. Here are a few other pieces of advice:

1. Pick the right Mark. Learn by experience to know by sight alone who should a Mark, and who should not.
2. Know your Mark’s price. Even if you know the Mark will pay up, there may still be a limit to his tolerance and his bank account.
3. If the Mark turns out to be too big a risk, let him go. Don’t risk it. If they start asking too many questions, insisting on receipts or names, let the Mark go. You may win today, but it could come back to bite.
4. Never give your real name. 

The best part about this one is the infinite possibility of variation: complexity or simplicity, real cop or fake, a lot of small returns or a few big ones.  There are whole careers made off the Man of Authority Scam.  Why miss out?

Happy scamming,

QM

Scam Art Sam : The Powdered Milk for Baby Scam

Dear Scam Art Sam,

This is a good one, with decent dividends and a high success rate.  You’ll need to employ some charm and play your cards right, but unlike many others, the Powdered Milk for Baby Scam works best when you don’t rush it. 

You Will Need

You, and an agreement with the clerk or owner of a shop which stocks, perhaps especially for this scam, large buckets of powdered milk.  Optional: tattered photograph of your starving baby.

Your Grounds

Could be any country that visitors (ie, potential Marks) preconceive as poor, or with a great divide between the rich and the poor.

You

Appear poor with a starving family.  You are probably a working man – say, a mechanic or a gardener – but the recent economic downturn (there are always hard times somewhere and for someone, so don’t think this is topical) has unjustly thrown you out of work.  Maybe the corrupt government or police were involved, and you were discriminated against.  Injustice is always a winner.  Essentially, you are trying but failing to feed your family, especially your baby, because where you were born is pitted against you.

Your Mark

Is any visitor from an apparently wealthy country to your apparently poor country.  Probably a young and solo Western male, but this is variable.  The most important thing you’re looking for is a fresh face and a desire to make a tangible difference in the world.

Your Target Emotion

Could be pride (ie, the Mark must do this in order to save the world), but typically, it is sympathy; but not so much sympathy for you – for your starving baby.  That’s what makes this one so effective.

The Routine

Step One: The Approach

This is just as crucial as a pick-up line.  You want to break the ice, but not with a sledgehammer that telegraphs your punch.  Don’t be waiting for the Mark.  Be walking somewhere (looking for food for your baby), and grab him as he passes you.  Hey, it’s you! I saw you at the…  Subtext: you look interesting, definitely more interesting than all the other tourists here.  Maybe you saw the Mark at a café earlier, or walking by the market / museum / beach / historical site / etc.  It doesn’t matter if the Mark spots the lie – you mistook him for someone else, someone with blonde hair / green eyes / big muscles / polka-dot skirt.  Meanwhile, the Mark’s first impression of you needs to be of someone charming yet downtrodden, filled with stories yet empty of money.

Step Two: The Chat

Be patient.  By the time they get to you, most Marks will be somewhat hardened against hustling.  The first few minutes of conversation are critical in establishing that you are a friend, just looking for a chinwag, not seeking help or sympathy – in fact, you might try being insulted at the suggestion.  It’s good here to have a few anecdotes.  Maybe about how the police mistreated you, how you met your wife, or what happened while you applied for a visa (and were rejected, of course, because you didn’t have the money) to the Mark’s home country.  Swear and then right away apologise for swearing.  Condemn your country and the system, and then say how great it is to have a country and a system like the Mark’s.  Tell jokes, quote Shakespeare, be yourself.  Make the Mark feel like he is having a cultural experience by just being in your presence.  And, be sure to balance your talking with questions for the Mark: about where he’s from, his wife, his job, his travels (always implying, of course, how lucky he is).  Don’t talk too much or he’ll get disinterested, because you’re not interested in him; and don’t ask too many questions, or he’ll feel targeted.

Step Three: The Bait

When the moment is right, ask for help.  It might be a good idea to pretend you’re busy and need to go soon, and so you pop the question before heading off.  Immediately tell the Mark that you do not want his money.  If he offers, refuse.  Push his hands away, get insulted.  Trust me, the return will be bigger if you hold out.  Tell the Mark that your baby is starving and that you need to buy powdered milk.  Will the Mark go with you to the shop to buy the milk?  If the Mark offers to give you the money to go buy the milk, refuse.  Tell the Mark that you want him to know that you are trustworthy and not using the money for anything else.  It is for your honour.  Tourists always assume that honour means more in the country they are visiting than it does in their own.

Step Four: The Walk

You will be relatively close to the shop, but not next door, so you will need to get the Mark across that distance without time to think.  So, here’s where you pull out your best and juiciest whopper story, the one you’ve refined and perfected with all the tragedy and comedy of the ages.  If you get to the shop before you finish the story, wait outside, as if the story is more important than him helping you – everything for the punchline of that great gab.

Step Five: The Sell

This will depend on the shop, but it’s best if you get the Mark to ask the clerk for what you’re looking for, and for the clerk to fetch it.  Alternatively, you can get it and bring it to the till, but this is less effective.  Just make sure that the Mark does not learn the price until the item is scanned through and ready to be bought.  The price, obviously, is high – but not outrageous considering the size of the bucket of powdered milk.  You want the bucket to be more surprising than the amount, because you want the Mark to think of how long that will feed your starving baby.  Don’t rush the Mark but do make him feel that this is a special moment in your life and, without saying it, that you can’t wait to bring the gift home to your desperate family.  At this step, you’ll need less charm, more emotion.  If possible, a clever partner in the clerk can be a tremendous asset: they can tell the Mark what a great service he is doing, make the deed feel legitimate, and help you out if the Mark has second thoughts.

Step Six: The Reward

Lose the Mark, but give him a fake number if you want him to feel like he’s made a friend and thus to cover your back.  When he’s safely away, return to the shop and give back the bucket of powdered milk in exchange for half of what the Mark paid, or whatever you’ve negotiated.  Everyone wins.

Cautions

• If the Mark acts suspicious or asks questions about your motive, get offended, and make to leave.  This is a general rule anyway: if you’ve been charming enough, he’ll chase you.
• If the Mark tries to purchase a smaller container, say it is not the right kind.  Get the shop to stock, or at least display, only the kind of powdered milk you need in the bucket size.
• If the Mark decides at the last minute not to buy the powdered milk, act incredibly deflated and disappointed, as if life-saving fortune teased you and then turned its back.  You may here want to ask for money in order to save up to buy the bucket, or you could hold out and put all your cards on the solemn and slow walk-away, in which you hope to be chased by a Mark who has changed his mind.

And that’s it.  Happy hunting and let me know how it turns out,

QM